These are terrible, so I had to get rid of them as soon as possible.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
- A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion
- When she married she got a new name and a dress.
- A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum blown apart.
- He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- A calendar's days are numbered.
- A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine!
- When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Acupuncture: a jab well done.