Non-Biblical Proverbs

• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• A day without sunshine is like... night.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
• The things that come to those who wait are usually the things left by those who got there first.
• Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
• I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.