T'was the night before Xmas and all through the land,
the creatures went shopping with Visas in hand.
With consumers lined up to get the best deals,
a few were even trampled by shopping-cart wheels.The children were screaming, "I want this and that",
while parents all worried how to pay for the crap.
And Mama with her pepper spray, and I with my bat,
stood in line for 12 hours, just for toys for our brats.When outside the Wal-Mart there arose such a noise,
two soccer moms fighting to be first to the toys.
Away through the doors, I sprang down the aisles,
past the harried door greeter with nary a smile.A voice from above announced a great deal,
DVD players for 10 bucks; the shoppers all squealed.
When what to my wondering eye should appear,
a really cool hat that holds two cans of beer.With two little hoses that feed you the brew,
I knew that I needed one for old Uncle Lou.
I reached for the hat, but before I could grab,
I was knocked to the ground by two tons of flab.Get off me, Get off me,
I hollered and screamed,
you're hurting my leg,
you're crushing my spleen.Let me up, let me up,
I begged and I pleaded,
holding on to the hat, that
I knew old Lou needed.As the dust of the stampede started to clear,
I still had my hat that held two cans of beer.
All my digits and limbs seemed to all be OK,
I had surprisingly survived the shopping melee.An then with a limp, I got up off the floor,
focused my eyes, looked 'round the packed store.
I saw normally nice people fighting and yelling,
to get the last of whatever Wal-Mart was selling.I felt quite ashamed, I knew this was wrong,
I had no business being a part of this throng.
I put the hat down and walked out of the store,
resting a bit on a bench placed near the door.As I sat and I watched the shoppers come in,
there were no smiles, no laughter, no giggles or grins.
Only stressed-out parents and friends of the greedy,
no thoughts for the less fortunate, no thoughts of the needy.No thoughts for those suffering out in the cold,
no thoughts of the sick, the lonely, the old.
No thoughts for our soldiers, no thoughts of those dying,
only thoughts of shopping, spending and buying.No thoughts of our Savior, the Wise Men, the Inn,
they aren't as popular as they once all had been.
No thoughts of the reason we have Christmas at all,
as children think Christmas is the French word for "mall."Christ is not allowed, but drunk Santas are cool,
no mention of Christmas is allowed in our schools.
It's Xmas my children, we don't wish to offend,
those with differing views on what's not and is sin.It's not about kindness, it's not about caring,
it's not about learning the value of sharing.
Christmas is no longer a religious event,
it's about spending your money, down to the last cent.I sprang to my feet as snow started to fall,
I got in my car and sped away from the mall.
I rolled down my window and with all of my might,
I yelled Merry CHRISTmas to all, what you're doing ain't right!Al Heirich
© 2005